My Abraham Test
My Abraham Test
“Then God said, “Take your son, your only son, whom you love—Isaac—and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on a mountain I will show you.” Genesis 22:2 (NIV)
“Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.” Luke 9:23
We had moved to a new city and life felt very broken for me as a newly divorced mom of two middle school girls. Kids can be resilient, but even the best of circumstances are challenging when a family falls apart. The girls were slowly making new friends which can be tough in a middle school environment. Their social life was pretty limited so when the mom of a new friend asked both girls to go to Six Flags on Saturday, it was an offer we couldn’t refuse. Even though I didn’t know her very well, there wasn’t much fun happening in our lives and funds were severely limited, so I gave in to the pressure and let them go.
This was in the days before mobile phones, so when the evening wore on with no word from anyone about why they were running late, worry began to set in; but I told myself anyone can lose track of time, right? As the hours passed, my inner voice started scolding me, “They should have been home hours ago. You barely know them! How could you let the girls go off with strangers for the day?” Evening turned to night, and 2:00am found me on my knees, begging for God’s help.
As I pled with Him, I heard in my mind, “They were mine before they were yours. Give them to me.” Taken aback, I wasn’t sure what He meant. “Lord, you know how much I love them, and I know you love them even more than I do. Please bring them home safely!” Again I heard, “Will you give them back to me?” My heart stopped even as my mind raced. I didn’t know what He was trying to say, but I cried, “Please, God, no! They are all I have left! Please, please, please don’t take them from me!” Minutes passed as I cried and begged with no further word, so slowly, in tears and brokenness, I bowed my head and through wracking, coughing sobs, I said, “Yes, Lord, they are yours. You gave them to me and I recognize you have the right to take them away. You know they are all I have left, but if that is your will, help me get through this because I can’t make it on my own. I give them back to you right now; please help me release them to you.” I felt like I was playing that old game called "Trust," putting on a blindfold and falling backward, trusting that He would be there to catch me…only I was standing on a high cliff and falling backward into an abyss.
Convinced that my girls had been in a terrible accident and I would be getting a phone call from the police at any moment, I stepped out onto the balcony of our tiny apartment just as a lone car pulled up below…they were home!!! As the apologetic mom gave her excuses, all I could do was wrap my arms around my precious babies and sob with relief that God had given them back to me.
That was a turning point in my relationship with God; the first of many. I knew at the time it was a test…one I never wanted to take again…and His truth had found its place in my heart. If I was to walk with Him and have the relationship I wanted to have, I would need to lay down my life, take up my cross, and follow Him every day. What a glorious, fulfilling and richly rewarding journey it has been ever since; but I had to trust Him completely before He would open His storehouse of blessings to me...and that is one tough test to pass!
PRAYER: Father, thank you for your faithfulness, provision and love. Everything I am, everything I have…it all comes from you, and I give it all back to you to use in accordance with your plan and your will. Let your thoughts fill my mind, your desires fill my heart and your words fill my mouth. My most fervent desire is to honor, glorify and serve you every day so that when I come home I can step into your embrace and hear you say, “Welcome home my good and faithful child.” I love you and praise you with all of my heart, in Jesus’ name, amen.